praying on the potty

taking "cast your cares" to the next level

Do you know why I put this print in front of my bathroom toilet?

You didn’t ask. I’m sure you don’t even care to know.

But, guess what? I’m gonna tell you anyway.

I put this print in front of my bathroom toilet

Because bathroom trips become battlegrounds when you’re pregnant.

Yes, you read that right.

And no matter how many times I’ve walked this road,

No matter the fact that I’ve had more live births (5) than losses (2),

I will still pause before I look,

Hold my breath before I wipe—

Because I know that what I see could change everything.

…And also that what I don’t see could mean nothing at all.

(Missed miscarriage, anyone?)

I don’t mean to be crass.

Actually, it’s not crass at all. It’s the cold hard truth of the matter:

No life is promised, including (especially?) the one in my womb.

This bathroom trip was fine, by the way,

The one where I’m writing this.

I’m still quite concerned that the next time I go, I won’t be able to say the same.

So here I am, sitting nervously on my bathroom toilet,

Reading this print on my wall,

When I notice that if I replace the word “tomorrow” with “bathroom trip”

I come away with this conclusion:

I don’t need to worry about the next bathroom trip;

That bathroom trip will worry about itself.

After all, each bathroom trip has enough trouble of its own.

(or something like that.)

I flush. I wash. I take a deep breath.

Then I wait for the next time

To go.

Therefore don’t worry about tomorrow, because tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. —Matthew 6:34

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I wrote this post early in the first trimester, when every bathroom trip seemed to amount to a test of my faith. I’m nearly in the 3rd trimester now, and I found myself reflecting on this same passage, these same words as I prepared to go to the second ultrasound and first anatomy scan of my pregnancy. I’m so grateful for how the living words of God apply so broadly to the various experiences I’ve had. I trust that his words (and maybe even a teensy bit of mine) can provide a source of steadfastness in hope whenever you’re in a season of unknowns.